Mercury's Retrograde (Part 1): REmembering & Acknowledging our Shadow Selves

As many of you know, Mercury is in retrograde and will be (until the end of time). Just kidding, only until December 6th. As the planet that rules communication, this Retrograde means that exchanges and ordeal that involve the exchange of information are going to be all sorts of wonky, so it’s best not to necessarily ACT in planning or establishing ourselves, but to reflect, reevaluate, and renew our sense of self, purpose, and environment. So, what better way to reflect on our selves that to dive into the dark and explore our Shadow Selves?

Dun dun DUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN

The Shadow Self

Whew, did you feel that chill?

To a lot of people, the term “shadow self” is very freaky, unnerving, and undesirable. And that is understandable, because the phrase does not necessarily hold too much light. Our Shadow Selves are the forgotten parts of ourselves, the side of our duality which we try to disassociate from because of fear, trauma, and pain. That is why the term “Shadow” is used, because unlike our Light Selves, which thrive under the glowing bean of the Sun and is what we wish to be seen, our Shadow Selves have been hiding in the shadows of the Moon. And are what we wish NO ONE (even ourselves, at times) could see.

As we step into a period of Ascension, it is VERY important that we step into our darkness and face the things that we have repressed. Our Light Selves have been in the spotlight for such a long time, but our Shadow selves have been fermenting, and they are starting to give off an odor... they can no longer remain hidden in the dark. They wish to be acknowledged, accepted, and healed. They wish to integrate with the Light self and demolish the sense of duality; that one part of our self is “good” and that another is “bad”. This Ascension is teaching us how to love ourselves WHOLE, not one side or the other. And to love ourselves fully, we must acknowledge that there are parts of ourselves that we are not necessarily proud of, and to own it. The illusion is fading away; there is no good vs bad, it only is what IS. Our shadow selves and light selves are the epitome of our being, without one you cannot have the other.

A very important part of ourselves have been hiding in the dark for a very long time, forgotten and lost in a sea of darkness. These traumas that we suppressed need to be healed, and in order for them to be healed they need to be ACKNOWLEDGED. An exercise that I found to be incredibly helpful in bringing what was hidden in the dark to light was to create a list of what I found to be “negative” about myself and describe it. So, I’m going to post below my little outline I made! If you all are interested in acknowledging and healing your Shadow’s, I encourage you to do the same.

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My Shadow Self in LIGHT

My Fears

*Being rejected for being myself

Reflection → Why?

*Not being given affection/attention

Reflection → Why?

*Not being accepted

Reflection → Why?

My Shadow Can Be...

Impulsive - allow emotions to control 80% of interactions; does not think before acting

Illogical - do not stop to think and rationalize many aspects in my life

Lying - too afraid to expose the truth either to protect self or others

Manipulative - because too afraid to face consequences, tries to find a way around them by shifting the way the people around me think

Cold - in response to emotionally traumatic stimulus, will tend to dissociate from person with no remorse

Non-Confrontational - no desire to speak up and defend self; looking for others to at times; does not know how to confront and be respectful and put ego at rest

Lazy - when unmotivated, would rather sit in self-pity then work to overcome problem

Easily Swayed - willpower is not strong enough to stand tall in own shoes; can be easily swayed by those around

Fearful/Anxious - living in constant need for things to be accomplished; never accepting of the now and always wises to be DOING DOING DOING (rarely contemplative until life circumstances forces contemplation).

Not trusting - always feels the need to be in control because of inability to accept at times

Indecisive - is not trusting in self to choose (would rather someone else choose so there is no responsibility on own part)

Not Responsible/Irresponsible - would rather put the blame on someone else

Sloppy - usually in rush, does not take time to organize and sort personal space too often (leads to chaos)

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Vulnerability is one hell of an experience.

It is easy to acknowledge what we do not like about ourselves, but it’s not so easy accepting it. However, what I’ve learned quite intensely is that acceptance is the only way to heal. We cannot fix a problem if we have not acknowledged and accepted that it is a problem. Really take time and put effort into this. This is the first step, Alphas. And it’s may be long, it will be painful, but it will also be so freeing.

Happy Reflection Days! Take time to reevaluate your current circumstances and ponder if you feel you are on the right path or not. Once you have your answer, wait until AFTER mercury retrograde is over (and maybe a few days after) and then act to create that change. Jupiter is in Sagittarius, so we are in a very prosperous period in time. Adventure, fun, and abundance!

Love & Light, Alphas

Kayla